Friends

"i remember once you came over but you didn't tell me you were coming over, and it was over 3 am when you finally showed up. you weren't saying anything and maybe i got jealous, maybe i was always jealous over you because it never felt like you gave me everything, just a piece of everything, and i asked you questions but you weren't answering them, questions like "where were you tonight?" and you weren't answering them you were just laying there. and finally i gave up and laid down beside you, and then you snuck your little tiny hand into my own. and i remember i resisted and then you grabbed again and i pushed you away and you grabbed me again until it was kind of a game and then you were on top of me and i pushed you off and then we were making love. but it wasn't like it normally was, it wasn't soft and careful this time, i felt your nails deep in my back and my hands were around your neck and i was watching you and your eyes were so fucking big, i've never seen them that big. they covered your whole face and you never blinked once."

This is the first time I haven't done a year in review post and, 2009 was the best year of my life.

I've been so behind on here because I haven't been spending much time online the past 5 months. But, I will say:

In 2009 I met all of my resolutions. I cooked lots of good things, I was really happy. Had the best boyfriend, finalized plans to study abroad in Rome for the fall. Had a swanky formal night in Chicago, went to Rome for the best months of my life.

Capri, Sorrento, Positano, Pompeii, Verona, Firenze, Bologna, Bilbao, Barcelona, Brussels, Antwerp, Amsterdam, Liverpool... I think that covers it.

I still haven't posted all of my travel photos here, or even said much about it all. But it well exceeded my expectations. Now, I'm back in the mitten and reunited with the best friend, the bf and my white boxer. But, I sorely miss Rome &Europe.

i have a blog spot now: https://www.please-sayplease.blogspot.com. it would be nice to know some of you there as well as here. it's more of an in-depth look at my life, kind of, not really. more like a creative log. see you there!

in 2010 i will: find a way to supplement my income. be kinder to erik and my mother. excercise in some small way; biking, walking, etc. save as much money as possible. keep updated with the news. keep projects going at all times. continue to read and take book reccomendations. keep my room, hair, body cleaner. cook dinner a few nights a week. remember to always be kind and stop judging people so harshly. take an interest in music again. refuse to seek others approval. try extremely hard in school. try to be cheerful, even when it's hard.